Monday, December 28, 2009

Next . . .

Wow, who would've thought I'd have my own blog? Enuf people tell me that my life is a soap opera, or more recently - a reality show and that if a camera followed me around, I'd make bank, hahaha! Then there are those friends who tell me they live vicariously through me. Whooohooo, who knew, right? I'd say up until Adam - I call those days B.A. (ya know like BC - before Christ, yea anyways) my life consisted of drama. Drama. Wikipedia defines drama as a mode of fiction represented in performance. Guess they're talking about plays and stuff of the sort, but in my life, yea - I think they are about right.

I can't really tell you about me in a nutshell - it'd be about the size of one of those old Volkswagon van things, like on Scooby Doo. The Mystery Machine. Let me give you a summary and we'll break it down in parts through later posts.

I was born Melody Gay Chandler on April 26, 1975. My mom had been a waitress at a bar and my Daddy was a married man (to another woman). Well, they hooked up and 9 months later - viola, little ol' me showed up. Now, most people would think my Daddy ditched the wife or ditch me and mom. Nope. He stuck with both. He lead two seperate lives. Now that right there is enuf to mess someone up. But I made it through that with flying colors! Of course, we (mom, me and my sister) moved around alot - I guess to hide us from his other family, who knows. I have alot in common with "military brats" I suppose.

Somehow we ended up spending most of my primary school years in Bullitt County, Kentucky. Not too much excitement there. Oh, except I met my worst nightmare in high school, then married him and had his kid. Brilliant, huh? That's Bullitt County's finest education there for ya! After 12 years of THAT, I wised up and divorced him in 2006. Bought myself a little house and was doing just fine! Oh yea, but then there's that dating thing. Ugh. Ok, skip that for now, another fine mistake on my part - I'll fill in that blank later. Let's get to the good stuff. Fast forward through dating the dumbest guy on earth, the worst nightmare again (yea, I said fine mistake already) and Match.com's best of the best, yea - I had given up on finding that special someone and decided I'd be a dater forever. New Year's 2008 - I end up without a date. Nice.

So, one of my girlfriends whom I met through some jerks during our dating stage, invited me to a hick bar out in good ol' Bullitt County. I grabbed the guy whom I'd put on stand-by - didn't really want him as my New Year's date, but had to settle if I didn't find something better. So, anyway, we take off to this bar. What a freakin' hole in the WALL! I swear I have more teeth in my head than in that entire bar! LOL! Ok, after much drinking - did I say MUCH drinking - and lots of guys flirting and trying to dance with me - my "date" sugarcoated it and told me that it's because everyone wants to be with the shining star in every bar . . . yea, whatever, every guy wants to dance with the drunk girl . . . ok, I look over, there's a pretty hot guy and his buddy standing shoulder to shoulder giving me their "come here" fingers. Hmmmm. Me? I look around. Yes YOU they nod. Uhhhh, ok, NO. Sorry, I don't get SUMMONED by "come here" fingers. Ya know, where you crook ur first finger and wiggle it? Ok, after a few songs, hot cometh here guy was still alone, without female, so I decide to give him a chance. Whhhhhooooaaa BABY !! ! ! ! Now enter: Adam MotherF'G Cox.

First Blog

Ok, just had to enter something here . . .